| #62.
WNR July 7th, 2004 Host: Mother Lamont Riders: EpitomeOfFortitudeBulletHead, Magnus, FlacoBelle, Red Seal, Centrum Silver, Marcus Aurelious, Lamont. Scribe: Magnus. Tonight's road ride in preparation of this weekend's Ch. Leon Spinks Summer Century included the virginal attendance of one Marcus Aurelious (to be more aptly named at a later date), and the temporary? renaming of RTH in honor of the biggest, baddest rider in this year's Tour: Magnus Backstedt (currently in the lead break and winner the first sprint of stage 5 as of this writing) of Allessio, who carries a svelte 212 lbs., thus making him the largest rider and is now therefore honored by those of us of equal or greater mass. Love those one sentence paragraphs. The split in not 1 but 2 strings of rain and lightening provided clear and dry surfaces for riding this 75 degree night. And for good reason as once reaching TTT form on the CCT, high sustained speeds (25-30 mph) were obtained for the duration of the run to Georgetown. Following a section of pave at the Kennedy Center, it was onto Haines Point for what will be the 2nd of three visits in 7 days. Magnus made the near critical error of launching his sprint about 500 yards too early, and suffered greatly - maybe record setting suffering - before hanging on by his fingernails for the victory. He experienced nausea for the rest of the ride. The group road along Constitution, up 15th, and into Crestwood, gleefully dodging traffic the whole way. Mother Lamont welcomed the team from the screened in porch as they made their way poolside. Air and water temperatures were perfect. Ample amounts of French beer within reach. FB left after 2 beer minimum. Triple uni-directional recreational momentation over the period of an hour. Candlelight intimacy. Topics included: the pros and cons of actually wearing a Livestrong bracelet, carbon fiber construction methodology, resolution of perceived monetary inequities in the form of a chainsaw, reminiscence of an old local DC band, and their 198? summer smash "Going to the Beach", and a general agreement that last week's WNR attendance in the Palisades Parade was a beautiful thing and shall be repeated annually infinatum. All departed en masse, and rode at Unity Pace to Pinehurst, where many went their separate ways at 33rd St. BMOTW: Volunteered by EOFBH, currently unrecalled by Magnus Mechanicals: None #61. WNR June 30th, 2004 Host: Luscious Riders: EpitomeOfFortitudeBulletHead, RollingThunderHead, FlacoBelle, Red Seal, Centrum Silver. Scribe: RollingThunderHead. Unusual circumstances led to a rare and unusual ride this dry and fast Wednesday night. The plan was to ride, via EOFBH's standard Friday morning dirt commute, to the still-recuperating Luscious' spread for apres ride festivities. The riders met at the Fort, and those worthy completed a loop before descending the mighty Military hill. Shortly after the Park Police station on Beach, the riders cut into the trail that parallels Beach all the way to Blagden. As a group, this long rooty section has never been attempted until this night. It is without a doubt the most difficult rideable trail in the park, and was a fine test - and training of - the technical skills. Halfway through this section we pick up FB's standard ride route and climb past Pulpit Rock in reverse. The lead group had plenty of time to converse through most of these sections. Loins of all likely took an unusual (remember - it's an unusual ride) beating, regardless of shammy thickness. The standard Rockerfeller Noose loop was then completed. Of note was RTH realizing he would in fact be able to master the bridge to the granny climb as his handlebars (while wider than the railings) are actually higher as well, giving him proper clearance. Next was the Melvin Hazen/Klingel area, where some confusion reigned as to trail accessibility. RTH took off on a clean climb up past the Quebec drop-in to near the top of the MH, while the others waited. This was followed by a run down the bike path, through the Zoo tunnel, and to the calisthenics area of Luscious' ride. Cheers arose in honor of CS gaining cardinalship of the bench on his first try. This effort was immediately compared to FB's many, many attempts to reach the same level of royalty on this particular object. The ride ended on Luscious' standard route, with a finish up Lovie Lane. The Library Steps were skipped due to time constraints. Sir L was ready and waiting with the golden elixir. Discussions 'round the ol' door table included plans for the upcoming parade, century, and moonbounce party. The non-father of the attendees had moonbounce defined. A unidirectional needlenose plier-supported recreational moment ensued, followed by departure for the back deck and negotiation of EOFBH's 3 cigars. Unfortunately, it was just as the the vibe was about to kick up a yet another notch that RTH was called away on a domestic situation regarding the aborted sleep-over plans of his second son at 11:15 PM. RTH rode directly home, and while the 7 hills of CT remain a challenge at any time, he felt good, to the point where he got to thinking about how consistently graded CT actually is, considering it is a perfectly straight Avenue. He was home at 11:40 PM exactly, relieving his friend, and then waited until midnight for the arrival of his wife and second son. RTH looks for any submission that reflects the goings-on after his early departure from Chez Luscious. Mechanicals: EOFBH's rear wheel, RTH's rubbing front jumper on rear tire. BMOTW: RTH informing loving wife of location. #60. WNR June 23rd, 2004 Host: The Reverend Riders: EpitomeOfFortitudeBulletHead, RollingThunderHead. Scribe: RollingThunderHead. Tonight's outing consisted of a small handful of high-WNR-tenure riders, and take a wild guess as to who is be the scribe for this week's installment. The recent summer solstice made this ride the brightest in recent and long term memory. Lights were unnecessary for the first 3rd of the ride, and ambient light remained well past the second trip past the BMX area. RTH and EOFBH both arrived via bike, RTH making it in 19:30, almost the exact same duration as his arrival time to Luscious' a month earlier. After discussion regarding the new vs. old entry method, it was determined that the new was longer and hence superior. Lighting made the first section almost unrecognizable. Standard route followed with kudos regularly awarded to Ol' Chainsaw, who cleared growth prior to last ride out of the Reverend's. While still too short, more work on the maze of loops will lengthen ride somewhat. We beg for more clearing by the Reverend and Ol' Chainsaw. The tennis court/swing loop is predicted to be excellent when cleaned up. Coitus interruptus occurred on downhill of this loop. Overall trails surrounding the BMX area very leafy, much to RTH's chagrin. With a smaller more experienced aggressive group present, the Reverend easily bent to the wishes of others and a visit to the basement ensued. While a simple trip to the basement is always of great interest, tonight's foray included a trip down the chute, where awe was expressed at the 100+ wheels, and classic framesets. Mole-like physical behaviors a must. The trio moved on to the office for further enhancements. After a 11:25 PM departure the Brothers Head returned to the city via the Kensington, CT, Brookville route. RTH arrived home at 11:50 PM, panting heavily. Mechanicals, Crashes, BMOTW: none. DT: 17.54, TM: 1:39, AVG: 11.4 With 4 weeks until the Alpe D'Huez TT, RTH proposes a road ride prior to the 9 PM start of the taped OLN coverage. 7 PM start? Perhaps other non-WNR SMR faithful may join in. Reminder: 17 days until Le Leon. Updated Cue forthcoming #59. WNR June 20th, 2004 (Sunday - Father's Day) Host: Cabin John Riders: FlacoBelle, EpitomeOfFortitudeBulletHead, The Reverend, RollingThunderHead. Scribe: RollingThunderHead. The season's finest weather blessed this 2nd annual Father's Day ride in Cabin John park. A consistent unity pace was developed and maintained for the duration of the ride. Standard route followed from the playground to River Road and back. Conditions were favorable; the few quagmires ridden through allowed the bikes to appear as if they endured more than they actually did to the average bystander. 
Oft-mentioned topic on the Father's Day ride included marital bliss. Photo shoot at Log Pile. Recreational moment at the top of the hill near river. RTH's 10 minute cleanup in pavilion bathroom occurred concurrently while man spoke japanese on cell phone while sitting in nearby stall. Post-ride festivities included a BBQ at the infamous pavilion D, where members caught site of the new and improved Luscious sporting his sling and removable hard cast. Stealth tyranny sheaths sported by many. SMR regulars Lamont and Mark showed their faces. Endless supply of rugrats. 
Crashes: Reverend Endo Mechanicals: Reverend handlebar BMOTW: Reverend unknowingly leaving bike unattended in parking lot. DT: 11.4, TM 1:40, Avg: 8.4 #58. WNR, June 16th, 2004 Host: RollingThunderHead Riders: The Reverend, The Colonel, Red Seal, RollingThunderHead, FlacoBelle. Scribe: FlacoBelle. Several weeks ago I suggested the concept of a Ride Review in response to BH’s voiced disdain for drafting his own ride reports. Just when I thought the idea was dead on the vine, RTH tasked me with writing the first review following his ride last Wednesday. Since one rarely has the opportunity to critique RTH at his own request, I plan to take full advantage of it. Lets start with the riders. Moi (which is one of only a handful of French words besides "Dop-AY" I know), RTH, RS, The Reverend and, believe it or not, The Colonel. The Colonel made his appearance to deliver Centrum Silver’s new F600 (hereinafter referred to as "Neon"), which remains untested thanks to a report delivered by New Jersey's former finest, Tom Kean. King Vitamin pulls a classic BK and takes delivery of his new set of wheels during post-ride festivities. No BH (who was in New York) or Luscious (who was still nursing his SMR wounds). No criticism of the ride itself; only rave reviews. RTH mentioned something about the “classic ride.“ I have no idea what that means. To me the ride seemed similar to what we always do: The Finger, cross the road, a left here, another left there, a climb, the Hershey squirts, a loop, crossing Beach Drive, resting on the bridge and then the traditional spot where RTH makes me lead the ride, only to have me miss the turn and then we head back home via The Finger. RTH's ride is without a doubt my favorite ride. It is the perfect combination of technical, flat, wet, hilly and fast conditions. The Finger also brings back fond memories of one of the greatest WNRs ever --the night of The Rainstorm when we were joined by RTH’s brother, Budvar, or whatever his name is. Post ride festivities take place at, where else, the PIT. While RTH gets high marks for delivering a nice assortment of salsas, tortilla chips and fruit, he earns low marks for apparently failing to create a special WNR mix in honor of Centrum Silver’s Neon. Other than a perfectly timed Black Crows tune, most of tonight’s music was “been there, heard that.” What the PIT lacked in music choice this evening was more than made up for with classic PIT ambience. The spinning disco ball is the perfect complement to the natural high earned from riding 10.4 miles of trail and the buzz resulting from the 60 plus ounces of icy cold keg beer typically consumed by each of us. Yours truly spent time admiring RTH's new old Colnago frame, not to mention the assortment of other crap hanging in RTH’s Mountain Bike Museum. Yours truly was especially pleased to find his bathing suit tucked away in the bathing suit drawer. While we never made it to the hot tub (probably because RTH never offered cigars [that seems to be the trigger]), we all had a great time. The Reverend apparently went to the Bullington School (of Shut the Fuck Up) because he said nary a word the entire evening. Yours truly, gabby once again, attempted to tell the EF Congressman Story only to be rudely interrupted. Tell me the last time any of us tried to tell a story at a WNR and was not Rudely Interrupted. The Rude Interruption is a WNR trademark. In addition to the aforementioned keg beer (which by the way tasted a bit sour), RTH also served a round of shots of Czech liquor that tasted like TEABURY chewing gum. Now after midnight with his deadline long past, Centrum explains his story. Unfortunately, no photos. For a guy from Rochester (photo capital of the world!), you’d think RTH would be all over taking pictures. However, he’s clearly been slipping in this department lately. The birds chirp and we’re all out on the street at approximately 12:30 a.m. Some discussion of how Yours Truly will carry the Atmos home. A bungee is borrowed and the problem is solved. Centrum Silver is scheduled for an urban assault host on June 23, 2004. #57. WNR June 9th, 2004 Host: Casa de Flaco Belle Riders: EpitomeOfFortitudeBulletHead, Red Seal, Luscious, FlacoBelle. How about a little whining to start off this week’s report? Expecting a group of ten plus burly men, Flaco heads out Wednesday morning to do his host shopping. Pretzels. Check. Tortilla Chips. Check. Good salsa, not the crappy kind. Check. Jellybeans in honor of our beloved (can’t believe I’m using that adjective) Reagan. Check. Beer. What kind is it gonna be tonight? How about Anchor Steam Liberty Ale, Anchor Porter, Sapporo (i.e., light beer for Luscious the Pussy) and our benchmark Sierra Nevada? Sounds good to me. Check. No expense spared for what I expect to be a raucus well-attended WNR event, complete with a BK crash by RTH and his boyz. Even cleaned up the damn place till 1 a.m. the morning before. So needless to say it was somewhat of a disappointment that only the Four Faithful (Luscious, RS, Bullethead and Flaco) showed up for the ride. I’m sure the non attendees had their reasons, but Flaco would be lying if he didn’t say it was a Slap in the Face. TM Can the Reverend still be pissed about that party? It has to be at least a year since he’s been on one of my rides and the last time I saw him near my place I swear he was riding away on my old F2000. Okay, bad joke. And where was Lamont? I had a bag of swag for him. Then there’s Mr. Fingerlickingood? Do you think we’ll ever see him on another WNR? And what about our newbie, Centrum Silver? As RTH (who at least had an excuse but failed to communicate same) once bellowed at Michael Jordan, where’s the passion? Apparently it has something to do with CS’ “old lady” (his words, not mine) and CS trying to ease her into accepting the WNR. However, as I told Senor Silver in a private but now public email: “you can't ease the old lady into this. You have to do, declare your passion and take the consequences. Once she sees how uplifted you are, not to mention how much better you look, feel and act, that will be the best evidence the WNR is a good thing.” To no avail. CS was a big no show. But enough complaining. I have a ride to report. We all know how Flaco Loves His Ride. And a what a ride it was. We‘re talking the Standard Flaco Ride with a wonderful Melvin Hazen trail bonus. A ride of big climbs and very technical downhills. Bullethead claims to have cardinalship on the initial climb up Hazen, but that had to be about 20 years ago. It’s hard enough to walk up the damn thing; I can’t imagine anyone - not even Mr. Fortitude - riding it. The ride itself was fast, furious and overwhelmingly hot and buggy. I know I swallowed at least few bugs. One of them must have been a cicada because all of a sudden I started fluttering and then crashed to the ground like a ton of bricks. With temperatures in the low 90’s, it was definitely the hottest ride of the year thus far. Best of all, not a single mechanical! Still, the ride was not without a slowdown. Proving that he has absolutely the worst sense of direction and worst memory of any WNRer, including yours truly, Luscious earned the Bonehead Move of the Week (BMOW tm) for not remembering to exit the t 
rail at the Boulder Bridge. Instead, Luscious took a right, climbed
and descended in front of the police station.We’re back at Casa de Flaco at 10:07 p.m. Beer and food offerings selection noted above. Shots of tequila provided for Epitome of Fortitude and Luscious and the recreational moment is enjoyed by all. Flaco is a bit yappy but manages to refrain from any discussion of shit or other bodily secretions. Could be a first. Amidst completely irrelevant bi-directional talk of Reagan, music and the standard WNR fare of bikes, rides and other WNRers, a beautiful photograph of the Four Faithful is taken. Departures. Luscious and RS are the first to go around 11:30 p.m. Bullethead Gets the Fuck Out at 12:21 a.m. #56. WNR June 2nd, 2004 Host: Lamont Riders: EpitomeOfFortitudeBulletHead, Red Seal, RollingThunderhead, Luscious, FlacoBelle, Centrum Silver, The Reverend Scribe: Centrum Silver An early-evening cloudburst cleared out, leaving the roads mostly dry and revealing an enormous full moon. A deer high-tailed it into the woods just in time to avoid a 20 mph pileup. And Flaco hung on despite a 5% to 10% handicap due to non-road equipment. All in all a very successful WNR on a crisp, late-spring evening. The group (Lamont, The Reverend, Red Seal, EOF BH, RTH, Luscious, Flaco Belle and Centrum Silver) assembled in suburbia at Lamont’s place. Hit CCT and proceeded down in eight-man pace line. Deer crossing and downed tree limb prompted minor slowdowns. Numerous bystanders with looks of puzzlement or awe as the line of maniacs with wires coming out of their heads passed. Very fast speeds achieved on loop around Hains Point. RTH won sprint bonus, though judges apparently didn’t see him muscle CS out of pace line to maintain draft and strategic position. Pace line reeled in (or is that Nealed in?) a lone rider heading up the CCT. The track bike rider joined in the line and even took a turn at the front. Very strong. RTH attempted to lure him into WNR, but he only rides track. EOF earned King of the Mountain points on two sprints up the CCT. He cracked CS by demanding that he not lose Red Seal’s wheel as RS attempted to slip ahead of the pack. CS held on, but wasn’t the same afterwards. Other sprint wins may have been missed by this writer. Post-ride ping-pong and pool was lubricated by Pauli Girl and Sierra Nevada. Luscious hit 44 miles and CS reached 46 after a final midnight ride down the CCT, their fourth one-way ride of the night. #55. WNR May 31st, 2004 (Memorial Day) Host: Bony Thorax Riders: Red Seal, RollingThunderHead DT: 22.22, TM: 1:52:51, AVG: 11.8 RTH pestered RS long enough to gain the latter's acquiescence for this multi-bi-modal Memorial day ride. Two paved miles led the riders to the BMX area, whose exit was negotiated amongst serious leafy intrusions. A true candidate for maintenance. The mosquito trail is coming into it's own and delightfully completed dabless by RTH. The rest of the Little Falls park area was completed deliberately, what with continued need for a platoon of machete wielding maniacs necessary to get sight lines past 2 feet. The back side of the reservoir was skipped in favor of time flexibility and fear of another rash of flats from a mysterious source as a change of mode again occurred. A quick experimental sojourn into the woods at Arizona bridge was attempted. The then oxymoronically sunny yet rainy CCT was taken to the Key Bridge overlook near the Glover Archibald pedestrian tunnel for a uni-directional recreational moment. Following this, Virginia Ave. was taken to the recently dedicated tourist mobbed W.W. II Memorial. This was followed by a lap around the mall area, and the head scratching that occurred when it was realized that the enormous fence around the Washington monument must have tripled the necessary walking all tourists must have made between the mall events and the Memorial itself. A return to the CCT, initiated a return to the mountain mode, as the Glover Archibald was taken north in it's entirety to Van Ness. Back to road mode for the 3 miles to the beloved CC-DC neighborhood. #54 WNR May 26, 2004 Host: Red Seal Riders: Centrum Silver, FlacoBelle, Rolling Thunderhead, Epitome of Fortitude Bullethead, Luscious After being alerted of pending no-show by Luscious on his new steed and rigging up a helmet light for CS we bolted down to the Finger trailhead. RS had conveniently blotted out memories of new deadfall on the trail and was entertaining thoughts of his first dabless run post-Isabel. But there were trees aplenty so expectations were adjusted. The trail entertained nonetheless. Still seem to be having some trouble as a group remembering that new left turn but that will come in time. Crossed the road and took the trail down through a couple of creek crossings and back up right, then over through the gardens and the climb up to the Fort. That climb has developed an almost impenetrable mud bog switchback thanks to our Equestrian friends. It makes one wonder why it is that a ½ ton four-legged trail churning shit machine is allowed free run of these paths whilst we relatively svelte humans on our ~25 pound, non-defecating two-wheelers are branded outlaws. If America wasn’t so self-absorbed with war and the new Harry Potter movie, I’d call for Congressional hearings. Somewhere in all of this CS was experiencing his first night ride on hilly terrain. He later reported the curious sensation of hitting a water bar and looking back to see his rear wheel rising to the occasion and passing his right ear as he and Mr. Ground suddenly made their acquaintance. Well met, I’m sure. EOFBH and RS were first to the Fort. RS successfully repeated his counter-conventional wisdom crossing of the roots by taking the left passage and maintained his Cardinalship. Flaco, who may need hypnosis and voodoo (as in the dead chicken and eye-lash of a newt type, not the bike) to overcome his Fort block, dabbed repeatedly and decided to not ruin his evening with any more attempts. RTH made yet another lightless run as he firmly joined the ranks of the HID challenged. Finished up with a lap around the picnic shelter trail and a few twisty runs through the Little Woods. Back for beer, where we were joined by Luscious who arrived belatedly on his ebay acquisition. Though there has been some, well, bafflement at the purchase of an older model over the technically advanced hot deals available from the Colonel, there was general agreement that, particularly given the generous refund for shipping damage, the $600 price was not a bad deal. And the white saddle, gotta like that. But RTH posed the question on everyone’s mind: how long before it’s FUBARed? (At this point, Luscious pulls out dinner in the form of a Power Bar. No one is surprised.) The rest of the evening was spent in twisty turny banter. RS used his Pocket PC to record a stream of consciousness version of the previous ride. (See below for details.) GTFOH circa midnight. Mechanicals: RTH light BMOTW: None that I can think of. #53 WNR May 19, 2004 Host: EOFBH Riders: Red Seal, Rolling Thunderhead, FlacoBelle Here is the ride report as sloppily chronicled by RS after his ride (see above for that report). All was well –unless you were RTH, which meant you were minus a spoke and the brush could use some machete work--along the Bony, including the recreational moment (courtesy of Lamont) at Mosquito Trail head. Rode the trail to the mall (Flaco says not really to the mall) and at this point we were in the throes of a major Talmudic discussion of Luscious’ new bike. There was considerable bewilderment at the choice of the ebay bike over the deal of lifetime (TM) that is always available from The Colonel. Then went down the Crescent, through the water plant field and after entering the woods, the plague of flats began. Flaco flats. Fixed. (Though Flaco’s fear and bafflement over fixing flats was curious. Kept yelling about how he had tubeless tires. Put that on the list of his mtn bike neuroses. Channeling Freud here: Perhaps flat=flacid=fear of irreparable limp dick. Maybe he dreamed he had a tubeless johnson and couldn’t get it up and when someone suggested Viagra or maybe a little porn he woke himself up screaming “But it’s tubeles, it’s tubeless!” ) Just a theory. Ok, after Flaco flat, we discovered flat on RTH machine. Got confusing thereafter. Flaco had another flat before even departing. Flaco and RTH exchanged tubes. Then EOFBH suffered that giant sucking sound. Flaco had about two other flats and 45 minutes had passed and we had gone about six feet. Maybe it was bad mouthing the new bike, or some mojo from that guy way down in the woods with the flashlight. But sumpin wasup. Finally decided to take nearest exist for Casa EOFBH. RS, the only one with a full complement of air, heads out but then feels a twinge of guilt. He looks back and there is Flaco, fear of getting lost stalking him like the roots at the Fort, saying something about how he doesn’t know how to get out of there. 
Flaco: “How do I get out of here?” RS (concerned that Flaco might end up on a milk carton): “Just walk up past the hospital, up Loughboro and I’ll pick you up.” Memorizes Flaco’s cell phone #. Meanwhile, the Brother’s Head do the pump and run back to EOFBH abode. End up driving back to pick-up Flaco. Flaco offers some lame revisionist history about knowing exactly where he was at all times. Blah, Blah, Blah.....See/hear a verbal history Here! We overcompensate for late arrival for beer, stay up way too late, everyone fagged to a farethewell on Thursday. Never again, we kidded ourselves. Mechanicals: Enuf said. BMOTW: See above re. overcompensating. #52. WNR May 12th, 2004 Host: The Reverend Riders: EpitomeOfFortitudeBulletHead, Red Seal, RollingThunderhead, Luscious, FlacoBelle, Centrum Silver. This WNR may well be remembered as the watershed outing of the 2004 season as 4 simultaneous events changed perceptions of our beloved weekly gathering. First, riders witnessed the capable virginal outing of Centrum Silver (a name surely not to live in infamy; merely waiting for spontaneous naming to occur) who appears to have lived to tell about his effort and may actually come back next week; second, the return of the Reverend (gone since his mighty crash of 2/25/2004, 77 days prior) and his unique perspective; third, the return of flat-out hot weather (and the accompanying bugs); fourth, an effort by half the group to ride up to the Reverends (suggesting a subtle shift in conditioning perspective and a soon-to-be increase of speed in the group as a whole). Whew. The times... they are a’changing. Over all, a slow ride it was. RTH took advantage
of a break in the early action to remove approximately 8 lbs. of equipment
from CS’ bike (a Giant on a long term borrowing agreement with FB),
squishing his first Cicada in the process. With CS riding a bit slow,
those who stayed with him (Lush) didn’t know where to go (still), and
hence repeated turning around occurred to help them find their way. The
trail was fast and surprisingly clear. We later learned that another
un-named friend of the Reverend had taken a chain saw to much of it
with excellent results. Nonetheless the trail was extremely tight and
sight lines were short from the relentless skin-rash producing brush.
RTH sustained what was perceived as an endless amount of time to fix
flat in the BMX area, and by the time the group hit Tyranny Rock, it was
time to turn around. As the Reverend adroitly stated later, “the trail
is getting shorter”.
The Reverend had his usual excellent array of snacks and tasty DogFish Head Pale Ale at the ready, which were eagerly consumed on his recently constructed picnic table. The usual topics were discussed: this website and the lack of readership; pirating music; Cicadas; Bike parts; and the classic (and perhaps an all-time favorite): what kind of Rhode’s car/Couch bike are going to ride on the cando next year. A visit to the ShaQ (the Q, replete with wood burning stove) was in order, and awe was expressed at it’s potential as the future après-ride destination. FB, Luscious, and CS left on bike around 11:30. RTH, EOFBH and RS pounded one more beer before departing about midnight, EOFBH on bike. Mechanicals: RTH flat and pregnant sidewall, FB’s crank falling off (again). BMOTW: In an unusual move, this is retroactively awarded to RS for apparently leaving his extremely expensive battery in a Georgetown gutter the week before. #51. WNR Cinco de Mayo, 2004 Host: Luscious Riders: EOF Bullet Head, Red Seal, ReekingThunderhead 
The ride began in the usual manner, with a run down backstop
hill. The rooty, off-camber decent was made more treacherous than
usual thanks to slick ground from a brief afternoon thunderstorm. But
that was only a hint of what lay ahead: the thunderstorm, brief as
it was, proved too much for ground already soaked from prior rains,
and the trails were full of thick mud and standing water. Still, the
group slogged on, and the ride was well worth the effort.
Speed was the order of the evening, and the small group was able to cover about 12 miles of trail, an unusually high mileage figure for a WNR. After the usual run out to Conn. Ave. to ride the plank (achieved by all in attendance), the group returned via the loop-de-loop hill on Rock Creek and climbed up into Dumbarton park. No conquests of Hillary's Step on this evening, though RS and EOFBH came close. After a run down the Safeway Hill, we looped back for the climb back up. As your host was had only the big ring available on FUBAR, he wasn't able to document whether anyone cleaned the hill. RS made it to the top, but his hopes were dashed by the final step on the staircase at the end. Crossing Wisconsin Ave., the group searched without success for a way to cut through the cemetery and avoid the steps up to the peninsula that leads to Glover Archibald. The peninsula proved challenging as ever and no one cleaned the series of hills following the stairway. The subsequent downhill, dubbed Piece Hill (as in, "whoa, that's a serious piece of trail"), was spectacular. 
Mechanicals: Bullethead's brakes; Red Seal's flat.
BMOTW: goes to the hoser(s) who cleaned their bikes against Luscious' freshly
painted front steps. The next morning, it appeared that buckets of mud
had been dumped over the previously sparkling stairway. It seems the culprits
will need future instruction on hosing their bikes in the direction of the
street. #50. WNR April 28th, 2004 Host: FlacoBelle Riders: EOF Bullet Head, Luscious, Red Seal, RollingThunderHead Though it now seems like a distant memory, a ride was held on Wednesday April 28th. The WNRers in attendance were Rolling Thunderhead, Luscious, Red Seal, Epitome of Fortitude and yours truly -- the one and only Flaco Belle. 
Luscious was supposed to arrive early so he could adjust the front derailleur on Black Beauty, which he would proceed to borrow (and crash) since his own bike (now affectionately known either as Piece of Shit [“POS”] or “Past Its Prime” [PIP]) was out of commission. Of course he was late. In fairness, he and EOF helped FB fix the Zobop’s rusty rear brake cable. Colonel, consider this an order for Gore Tex cables! We did the standard ride and added a bit of the Little Woods at the end. Riding highlights included the Chandra Levy Trail downhill, which was fast and fun. RS had a flat, so he missed the Rockefeller climb. Luscious and Flaco once again combined to take the wrong path on the way to the Grant downhill. I don’t remember any Bonehead Moves of the Week. Were there any? 
Post ride festivities included a nice selection of Anchor
Steam, Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, Mikes Hard Lime – a Luscious and Flaco
Favorite, and some fairly old [about 3 weeks] Otter Creek Pale Ale.
Flaco went all out and provided a lovely array of snacks ranging from the
fairly standard ships and salsa to a tin of cashew nuts. Let’s
also not forget the pornographic Cheese Whiz and crackers.
The site of EOF and RTH licking that orange gizz off that cheddar cracker
was as good as any money shot I’ve seen. Mmmm……good cracker.
As for music, Ray Coniff’s version of Georgy Girl [now
a Flaco Family favorite] made the crowd go crazy. Quality minutes
spent discussing the relative merits of the Flaco Bike. Some
negotiation about the price RTH is willing to make it part of his permanent
collection. Flaco ultimately decides the bike is too damn sexy to
part with. If RTH is man enough to ride it, he’ll have to borrow
it.
Luscious, exercising his constitutional right to be a
pussy, is the first to give Flaco the old slap in the face.
He made it past 11 p.m., but only because we forced him to go down
on another Hard Mike. I mean down another Mike’s Hard Lime drink.
RS and RTH were next out the door at just after midnight. EOF stuck
around until 12:25 a.m. before he and FB mutually agreed it was time for
him to leave. There’s a funny quote I wanted to repeat, but I won’t
on the basis it might offend The Gay Guy. A fun night was had by all. However, this report will not be remembered as one of Flaco Belle’s better ones. The moral of this story is to write the damn report the next day after the ride [not 6!], no matter how much it hurts your brain to do so. #49. WNR April 21st, 2004 Host: RollingThunderHead Riders: EOF Bullet Head, Luscious, FlacoBelle, Red Seal Anticipation ran high as the likelihood of a confluence of positive variables would occur this night: fit riders, dry trails, and finally, minimal attire. RTH suggested via email earlier that day that there would be a modified and extended route, and as usual, pressed for an exact start time of 8:30 PM. The WNR as a whole is beginning to see the benefits of riding a full 1.5 hours, and the on-time departure. The Finger was again ripe for the taking but twas not to be. EOFBH again missed a turn in the new section, literally stalling in his bid for another notch in his belt, but ultimately it didn't matter as a new impassible tree now blocks the trail at the culvert. Bit chomping never found full release as FB’s crank and Luscious’ drivetrain refused to cooperate, slowing the group as a whole. Luscious continues to hear “new bike” catcalls, which he vigorously ignores. The bomb down Hershey Squirts was abruptly curtailed as the peleton leaders smelled Pork in the road below. This resulted in a climb back up Hershey squirts, to rave reviews. The high-speed downhill to the boundary bridge was exactly that. The Grubb Road climb was skipped in favor of a siege on the biggest, baddest climb in the park: the Military Hill, including the Fort loop. Approach along the 17th hole trail was completed stealth, as was the Ford (done for the first time in a year or more). The Military climb remained the master of it’s domain, as all failed to harness her power. RTH blamed his sudden lack of light, but redeemed himself with a stealth completion of the Fort. He will go for his cardinalship at the next opportunity. FB continued his groveling at the hands of the Fort; the great injustice being his final ability to make the roots only to fail the previously made log jump. The ride finished with a quick loop through the Little Woods. Back in the PIT, eyes popped at the sight of Luscious bringing extra clothes for the ride home after 2 years; all deemed there to be a relatively flat learning curve. Shots of Beiley’s propelled the group toward it’s desired condition. RTH left for Seattle early the following morning hence his recollection of the evening was limited to a few items of reflection: 1) that FB wanted to take a tub, and didn’t (RTH apologizes and will make it happen next time); 2) that RTH pushes for seats and a table at other venues but seems unable to produce these things himself and will change that; 3) RTH and EOFBH should never again as long as they live discuss digital imagery but will anyway; 4) RTH made up what appeared to be a favorable mix of his more recent purchases; 5) Apparently the only way to see Elvis is while he is naked. Mechanicals: Luscious’ bike, FB’s crank, RTH’s light, excrement of unknown origin on EOF BH’s gloves. BMOTW: FlacoBelle molesting azalea bush upon arrival home. #48. WNR April 14th, 2004 Host: Red Seal Riders: EOF Bullet Head, RollingThunderHead #47. WNR April 8-12/03, 2004 Host: CANDO NHP Riders: RollingThunderHead, EOF Bullet Head, Luscious, FlacoBelle, Red Seal, The Reverend, Lamont, Lil Pout, Rustler, Rick, Meghan, Chantal, Alan, Bob.
#46. WNR March 31st, 2004 Host: RollingThunderHead Riders: EOF Bullet Head, Luscious, FlacoBelle, Red Seal Tonight's foray marked the return of rain on Wednesday nights, although trail conditions remained in relatively good condition. Royalty of the Finger and those who are not continue to stand in awe of the Finger's might, as dabs occurred all around. Record setting on-time departure of 8:30 allowed extension of standard route including Grubb climb, up and back to the 17th hole, and a Hershey Squirts climb mini-loop. Arrival at Xanadu at 9:58:57. High and low lights include RTH nearly taking a header in a stream crossing, Red Seal breaking chain (with torque!), and a general barking and grinding of gears afflicting all. The PIT's temps were within reason, but that didn't keep RS, EOFBH and RTH from over dressing. Freshly cut Cantaloupe served, Black and Tans compared and consumed, recreational moments had by nearly all. Discussion revolved around the usual world events, including renting a lawn aerator and the Cando. Speaking of which, the Almighty Cando will cancel next week's WNR, as all will gather the following morning at EOFBH's for the 4 day ride. Luscious was forced to leave early at 11 PM, and per usual, remained in his soaking riding clothes all night for the return home via bike. He was, however, able to bear the elements since his wearing attire now included 5 socks. This then lead to discussions of the number 5, with the drummer of Def Leppard invariably coming up, in a synchronous moment with the song (a high school classic!) Photograph. BMOTW: The loss of one black sock. Mechanicals: RS chain, general gear grinding and sucking. #45. WNR March 24th, 2004 Host: Red Seal Riders: EOF Bullet Head, Luscious, FlacoBelle These were the best trail conditions experienced on the WNR for as long as anyone can remember. Dry, relatively clear of debris and fast. The newly configured Finger was beckoning a dab free run but it was not to be. Luscious took a header on an early tree, Red Seal went down on the roots at the tricky little rocky crossing after the sewer pipe and EOFBH, who appeared to have it locked up, suddenly slipped out of a pedal and dab he did. Followed Red Seal’s relatively new route. Red Seal did clean the series of log steps near the gardens and, after three tries, all conquered the Fort. There is still a need to add something more to this route but just what that is remains to be determined. Luscious claimed he would not stay for post-ride festivities but was convinced to hang for an hour out of respect for tradition. Flaco lost one of the wires for EOFBH’s spare light somewhere on the trail and spent a fruitless hour post-ride beer drinking hunting for it near the end of the Finger. Still, stopped short of a BMOTW. Mechanicals: FB lighting issues. #44. WNR March 17th, 2004 The last ride of winter proved to be a gentle affair. All agreed the trails were in decent shape in spite of 2 straight days of rain/sleet/snow/drizzle/mixed freakin' bag. Spurred by Luscious' vision, the group did the Bony Archibald Combo, a choice dictated by trail conditions to have as little climbing as possible. The group did the Glover Archibald/Battery Kemble downhill to Macarthur Blvd. and w/ a brief tool out said blvd., hooked up to do the Bony Thorax home. A near hallucinatory, kaleidoscopic aura pervaded as snow fell for the first half of the ride, but w/ temps near 38F the trails stayed clear and only marginally slick. Back to the 25th Gear exactly at 10:00 pm. the group had a celebratory Guinness to honor the day and talked turned to amongst other banalities (14"? What's the big deal?), the approaching COI. Luscious groveled for at least a partial ride home from FlacoBelle and all were gone by midnight. BMOTW: None #43. WNR March 14th, 2004 EOFBH and Red Seal, taking advantage of a rare opening of Schaeffer Farms, an event about as common these days as the 17-year cicadas, did pretty much the full circuit. Started at 7:30 a.m. with an empty park to play in. Lots of fast, twisting single track per usual and very enjoyable. But the last 15 minutes of the ride were tainted slightly by the rapid thawing of the trails into muddy goo. By the time we reached the car our bikes had become magnets for several pounds of mud. Still, the tour reminded us that Shaeffer remains one of the best scrambles out there and should be considered for a future SMR. #42. WNR March 10th, 2004 What do STARBUCKS, CAMEL, MYLANTA, TUMS, MILK OF MAGNESIA, METAMUCIL, and SUNSWEET all have in common? These are the brands of coffee, cigarettes, antacids, laxatives and prunes I've consumed over the last seven days to make me at one with the potty. Well, I am pleased to report the minor dispute my ass was having with the porcelain goddess has been amicably resolved as of this morning. Fourteen inches of beautiful brown cable, just like the old days. Yes, I am finally back! By the way, we had a ride last Wednesday Night. Your host Flaco was there, as was RTH, RS, Luscious, BulletHead and our special guest visitor, the Gay Colonel. I mean The Colonel. We even rode. Can you believe it? I was full of shit, and yet we still road. Up Grant, down Chandra Levy, up near Rockefeller’s house, etc….. We added some stuff too. Took a right before the end of the Grant downhill and added the little loop that also has been incorporated into RS’ ride. Then finished with a meander through Little Wood. The Colonel and I were pooped. No pun intended. He, because he's a bit dusty. And I, well, because I am/was full of shit. However, riding behind the Colonel gave me a great view of both the Colonel's arse and, more importantly, his beautiful new dual suspension Jeckyl. The Dusty Gay; I think that's what we're calling it over the vociferous objection of the The Colonel. Back at the house, conversation turned to all the normal stuff. Bikes, COI, music, a plan to ride to Leesburg on the evening of 3/20 with a hung over road ride to follow the next morning, etc… I prepared a special new Wedding Bell Blues mix for the event. Here's the mix. Beer selection consisted of our benchmark Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, Otter Creek Ale (which the Colonel poo poo’d [again, no pun intended], Budvar [left over from the Superbowl party about three years ago which the Reverend was not invited to], Heineken Dark [left over from another party about 4 years ago the Reverend was not invited to], Smirnoff Mandarin Orange Twist [which Luscious and I guzzled] and Sam Adams White Ale [which was finally cold by the time everyone left]. Food selection [of which I took no part in consuming for reasons set forth above] consisted of Olive humus and those delicious and inexpensive sesame cheese crackers and chips and hot salsa. BMOTW – I know there was one, but I can't remember. RTH? Mechanicals – none. Departure: Luscious first, followed by RS and RTH.
Despite the dwindling beer selection, EOF Bullethead and the Colonel stayed
until 12:10 a.m. when I finally gave them the boot. #41. WNR March 3rd, 2004 'Twas a night of new turf and great feats. The Georgetown route got a major tweaking with the addition of more than a mile of wonderfully technical singletrack. We began by flopping the traditional route: after descending via the usual steep hill behind the backstop, we reversed our usual route and followed Rock Creek out to the exercise area by the Conn. Ave. turnout. Here, Cardinal Belle nearly was defrocked for his inability to repeat his previous conquest of the squat platform. Still, after several entertaining attempts, he did manage to tame the table and vindicate Luscious, who had sworn to the crowd that Belle had it in him. We doubled back and did the two loops on the hill before proceeding to Dumbarton Park. Here, we began with the usual circuit, notable for Mssr. Thunder's first dabless ride of Hillary's Step (note: his was the only successful assault). After completing the loop, we circled around and came back up the grassy knoll to Wisconsin. Then, the twist: We crossed Wisconsin and traversed the Whitehaven strip to Glover Archibald, where we picked up the tail end of Mssr. Bullet's old ride. The traverse included some new and very challenging singletrack, which provided a nice addition to the existing Georgetown route. And the route through Glover Archibald complimented the technical stuff with some fast and twisty downhills. Winding down to the canal, we returned via the towpath to Key Bridge and proceeded up 34th Street and across N to the Georgetown campus. After a quick tour -- Mssr. Belle's first visit to the campus -- the group climbed up to R Street for a run down the library steps. All conquered the steps, including Mssr. Seal, who achieved cardinal status on the obstacle. Post-ride discussion was lively and unusually large amounts of beer were consumed. At midnight, as the crew was about to depart, Luscious noted that the four guests -- RS, RTH, EOFBH and FB -- had consumed nearly a case of Sierra between them. RTH, taking up the challenge, demanded that everyone stay until the case was killed. Mission accomplished with virtually no help from Luscious, who opted for a visit with Mssr. Daniels. Mechanicals: None. BMOTW: None (a near miss by Luscious, who almost crashed into the
same tree on consecutive passes over the same piece of trail).
#40 WNR February 29th, 2004 A toast to what hopefully was the last frost covered trail ride
of the #39 WNR February 25, 2004 This ride will be forever remembered for the mighty fall inflicted upon the Reverend. For you Bible heads out there when we say “the fall of the Rev,” we're not talking in some abstract, theological fall of man sense. We're talking about an actual plunge of some 25 feet down a rooty, rocky embankment to a cold stream. Here’s what happened. The Rev is leading us into a new piece of
trail perched above a washed out gully. About ten feet into the woods it
skirts perilously between a tree on the left and drop-off on the right. As
the Rev tries to It was almost as scary to hear as it was to see. EOFBH, RTH and RS lowered themselves down the bank where they found the Rev understandably disoriented and suffering from, at the least, a badly dislocated shoulder. After getting the Rev back home, where he changed into dry clothes and headed for the ER, the rest of the gang decided to head back out on to the trail. We poked around for a bit, did some trail maintenance and then EOFBH lost one arm of his crank, providing evidence that the ride really was never meant to be. (Though it was impressive to see EOFBH ride all the way back to his car with just one crank arm and the occasional push from the rest of us.) Ultimately, a decision was made to retire to the EOFBH abode for the post-ride beer and debrief, where we were joined by the Colonel. Conversation of course dwelled much on THE CRASH and the condition of the Rev. Entertainment included a photo montage involving a nerf football going places it’s rarely if ever been before. We’ll just leave the rest up to your imagination. Departure into the cruel cold night around 11:30 p.m. #38. WNR February 23rd, 2004 With the start of the road season suddenly within sight, this Sunday's ride was perhaps the beginning of the end of the winter Bony Thorax SMR rides. In summary, once the 2003 road season ended, Sunday's host was for many weeks Cabin John, until the ease and excellence of the Bony Thorax was finally seen in a crystal clear fashion. In addition, twas a winter of maintenance, with much of the BT and the Finger being fully overhauled in time for the 2004 WNR leafy season. Meeting at the mosquito trailhead, the BMX area was done in reverse, with new found vigor expressed at mastering the flying jumps of the actual BMX. Baby steps ensued; RTH vows at least fundamental ability to hit these jumps by mid-summer. Standard route followed, extremely soft and slow. Start temps in the high 30s. Trifecta now daily double. Ride time approximately 1.5 hours. Mechanicals: Rev's chain. Apres at Caribou Coffee in Bethesda, where all were launched into orbit with triple shot mocha turtle mint whipped cream caramel heathbar coffee concoctions courtesy free tickets from EOFBH. Threefold proposal: Next WNR ride at The Reverends, on one speeds,
bring maintenance tools. #37. WNR February 18th, 2004 Rideable conditions returned to the WNR. It was our first chance not only since the snows but since Isabelle to have reasonable expectations of completing a dabless run on the Finger. New routes around various obstacles have been established (well, mostly) and the ice was pretty much gone. But the gang is still learning the altered state and one by one they dabbed. Red Seal had high hopes what with his completely overhauled rig (courtesy of The Colonel's generous wrenching) and new shock (courtesy of Answer.Manitou). But while it performed flawlessly its rider did not. His was the first foot to touch ground in the leading grupo, but others followed. Still, no one was complaining, given the relatively exceptional trail quality and balmy temperatures (mid-30s rock, dude). RedSeal's new ride route continues to satisfy but could use a few tweaks. New circuits were explored for the Pavilion portion and for entry points and variations within the Little Woods. There also was a general interest in "something more," i.e. another spur of trail perhaps around the Pinehurst section or even a crossing of the creek for a different route over to the Fort. The Fort, by the way, remains a solid technical testing ground, challenging riders to complete its circumnavigation over gnarly roots, a nice tree and a somewhat tricky final maneuver over an angled log at the bottom of the final dip (more psychological than technical). Post ride festivities were mostly smooth with some disconnect over the issue of picture size/quality on the Web site. Nothing another beer couldn't resolve, though EOFBullethead may soon become EOF70DPIBulletHead. Departures around midnight. Bonehead Move of the Week: Asking EOFBH about picture quality.
#36. WNR February 16th, 2004 RTH, unable to find a compatriot on this President's day hit the Little Falls section of the Bony Thorax riding solo. The Mosquito trail was drag-stepped in reverse, with a small bit of work done on the upstream entrance. EOFBH and Frankie rode with RTH exactly one city block on RTH's return trip home, reaching write up criteria, as specified in the sacred scrolls (these last two words shall be pronounced with a slur in order to maximize Planet of the Apes effect). #35. WNR February 15th, 2004 It was a ride of epic proportion. At least that's how it felt to
me. I Once back on the CCT, we did the Bony in reverse. All was
well until Mercifully the trail portion of the ride ended about 10:00 a.m.
and EOF and All in all it was a day to remember. #34. WNR February 11th, 2004 The Iceman has not yet goneth away as evidenced by this rides' unique, challenging conditions. Remnants of this winter's storms are in fact not remnants at all in a majority of places but rather glacier-like 2 inch thick sheets of ice. Luscious was again waited upon prior to departure for the new and improved Finger, release version 15.2.1. This latest update includes alterations just before the second to last water crossing (removing short hill climb), and a clearer line just before the drainage tunnel. Tonight's dab count was high, well into the hundreds by rides end. In general, the west side of the park was more easily traversable, albeit in a slow manner. The East side was nearly impossible ride, let alone even walk in sections, leading to abortion of the climb to 16th street. Level of enjoyment varied greatly, from RTH and EOFBH finding the ride thrilling and challenging to Luscious providing a poor man's Roberto Duran, although he was agreeable, with limited browbeating, to completion of the Finger in reverse. Riding strategies revolved around keeping upright: staying near the edges, avoiding anything off-camber, turning only when on clean trail. RTH and EOF BH discussed how this type of riding was truly technical, where speed was beneficial, not the other way around. Perhaps RTH's enjoyment was in part due to his decision to wear flat pedals with waterproof boots. Fishtail saves outnumbered all of the previous year combined. Memorable conditions. Crashes: There where many. Three stand out. Within 100 feet of each other, both EOF BH and Luscious went down hard, with BH demonstrating a Beloki as he fishtailed to fall to the outside of the turn. The third occurred when Luscious slid down an ice patch only to have RTH slide under him. After the riders stood with difficulty, hilarity ensued as RTH slid down the hill (standing) while Luscious attempted to hold him up via RTH's steed, which was now stretched out between them, 3 feet of the ground. The PIT was forsaken this night for the basement and 8 ball. A special 2/11/04 mix produced by RTH, again ending with the Door's "When the Music's Over" (although 2 bonus tracks were added), was heard. Multiple mentions of 99 cent music purchases. RTH and EOF BH were cruising until RTH inexplicably shot the eight ball in while still having balls on the table, earning BMOTW honors. Mechanicals: none #33. WNR February 4th, 2004 #32. WNR January 28th, 2004 I wrote a very long report on last night's
WNR. Unfortunately, the crappy 1. The report started out with an interesting, but rather
useless quote 2. The report talked about the ride conditions. Reminded
me of fried ice 4. Discussed WNR Media Night(SM) and the staged photos
of us trying to 5. Mentioned what I thought was a decent music playlist.
Willie Bobo 6. And finally, who can forget low budget and high budget
porn brought to 7. The ride marks RTH's return to beer drinking. 8. Last one out the door at 11:47 p.m. Well, that's it. Better this than nothing. #31. WNR January 25th, 2004 The group met at the Mass. Ave./CCT junction and pioneered the new starting route up the trail to the BMX course. Temps were cold, about 20 degrees with some wind. Trail conditions were excellent - frozen solid and clear of ice. We moved quickly through the first phases of the ride and experimented briefly with a few new sections of trail. One of them, a ridge ride that begins just after the Mass. Ave. crossing, showed great promise and has since been incorporated into the regular Thorax route. After crossing over to the Thecunt, rode along the ridge and over the trifecta. After the turnaround, we noticed that the trifecta had been transformed into a daily double. Zev owned up to making the change, which met with mixed reviews. The rest of the route was uneventful. Stopped for a reflective moment at Thecunt overview, and returned to Mass. Ave. via the same route in reverse. Mechanicals: none #30. WNR January 24th, 2004 On the night previous, Red Seal mentioned to RTH between sips of Old Dominion Pale Ale that he was thinking of a short Saturday excursion into the woods. RTH gave his usual mixed response, based, also as usual, on the weighing of family matters on that or any Saturday afternoon. The planets aligned and RTH called those on his memorized phone list (the one in his head), EOF BH and FB, but only the former could enlist. The three met at the BMX area, and proceeded to make a run of the comprehensive Bony Thorax in both directions. Time was taken for trail analysis and re-routing for future excursions, including the Mosquito trail and the approach to and descent from the Plaza. Each aspect was considered for maximal benefit in the future. It was decided the next trail maintenance outing should occur here. Conditions were again near perfect, resulting in a wonderful ride that allowed the 3 to fine tune their technical chops, especially log jumping. Results were so favorable that discussion ensued regarding making the Bony Thorax the (gold?) standard Sunday Morning Ride mountain destination. An idea that reached fruition the very next morning. However, since RTH wrote this passage, and every single other passage since 12/7/03, he feels the likelihood of mention on these pages of Sunday's ride is remote. As of this date (Monday, 1/26/04), eight rides have gone unwritten by all members of the WNR not named RTH. With 4 inches of snow fallen as of this writing, and ice forecasted to begin in mere hours, it is perhaps the end of the glorious trail conditions. Mechanicals: None. #29. WNR January 21st, 2004 Perhaps the best outing in Georgetown since we pioneered this ride almost two years ago. Trail conditions were perfect -- frozen solid and bone dry -- allowing the group to tackle even the most technical sections of the ride. This is the closest we'll get to slick rock in the East. Weather was clear and crisp, temps in the 20s. To begin, we returned for the first time since Hurricane Isabel to the original backstop downhill, which was cleared by the wonderful folks at the Nat. Park Service. This was followed by two modified figure eights in Dumbarton. On the first, EOF Bullethead and Lucsious conquered Hillary's step (this made EOFBH a cardinal on this difficult upshot; Luscious still needs to clean it once more). In fact, both riders cleaned the entire Dumbarton route, including the big steps on the Embassy high road. The group proceeded along the Rock Creek trail with two loops in alternating directions on the hill at the midway point. We emerged at the Conn. Ave. personal training course and ran a few passes over the bench. All cleared that obstacle, including Flaco Belle, who required the usual exhortations from his peers before taking on the challenge. We returned along Rock Creek and did another loop in the Dumbarton area, including a second run through over the narrow stepped footbridges along the stream. The group finished with a run down the library steps, with RTH, Bullethead and Luscious running the course three abreast. Post ride festivities were more tame than usual, in part because Luscious had a gig the following night. Beer consumption flirted with an all-time low. Bonehead move of the week: None RTH Responds: What, no mention of my
lightless performance? It should at least merit BMOTW.
#28. WNR January 18th, 2004 (MLK Eve - Sunday)
#27. WNR January 14th, 2004 Sub-freezing temperatures kept trail conditions in peak form as the warming trend earlier in the week was brief and without precipitation. The riders got off to an inauspicious start as Luscious bailed due to vocational duties, and the Reverend had 2 flats within the first 5 minutes. Usual route completed, with additional trail re-discovered, which will make a nice loop out and back from the BMX area. Major changes in sections as it appears the County is putting in a new drainage system. Office time spent looking at the Montgomery County Aerial Map page and eating coconut creme pies in addition to the Reverends bar-raising apre ride smorgasbord. Injuries: RTH twisted ankle. Mechanicals: 2 flats. Shredded clothing: one jacket. Deer spotting: 4. Bone Head Move of the Night: none. Office discussion: Paris Hilton, proposal by EOFBH to move the Sunday Morning Ride to Sunday night as the second annual MLK eve ride into Pimmet Run accepted and ratified. Departure relatively early. #26. WNR January 11th, 2004 (Sunday)
RollingThunderHead woke at 6:50 AM, quietly slipped out of bed, picked up a pre-made pile of riding clothes, and descended to the kitchen. He dressed there, and then dove into a bowl of Honey Nut Cherrios. He placed his extra clothes and riding gear in his Orange Bag, went out to the PIT to select Tyrus, then walked along the side yard just in time to hear his wife knocking on the window to say good-bye. He attached the bike to the rear of Maximus, got in, clicked on the heated seat, and checked the temperature. Twelve degrees. Damn cold. But he knew that the engine driving this freight train would be the conditions. Trail conditions. Superior trail conditions. Rock-hard, ultra grip, clear, dry, fast, once-a-year trail conditions. At this point he was relatively on time. But just after Chevy Chase Circle, RTH realized he had forgotten an essential item: his winter riding booties. His turning around, driving back and going in the house and driving to the place of his remembered forgetfulness had cost him 15 minutes. This triggered the thought about the others, and that they had better had left without him. This initiated a process of reflection, upon a few things but first with regard to the idea that the arrival/attendance framework of the Sunday Morning Ride (SMR) had somehow become equated with the WNR. While the WNR enjoys a widely agreed upon set of temporal parameters, the SMR has for over a year been far more flexible: Show up and ride, or don't. Someone will probably be there at 7:30 AM. RTH thought this had changed recently and wasn't sure why, but he was now driving into a perfect situation as to why it should remain as it always was. While waiting for others can be the decent thing to do, one should not sabotage the plans of the group, intentional or not. RTH hoped the others to be gone, and he would catch up. Simple, flexible, predictable, consistent. While RTH was finishing this rant, at approximately the corner of River and Wilson, another rant spontaneously popped into his head, which was the function of this here WNR website. While it seemed to RTH that he may be the site's main flag-waver, webmaster, or control freak, which was fine with him, he also didn't want to become the jack-booted thug cracking the whip (with heels?) in order to get others to contribute. He thought about how he decided to stop cracking it in early December, and instead just support whatever people wanted to do, while making his usual personal contributions. He had other web projects to enjoy anyway. This resulted in absolutely zero contributions from WNR members resulting in blank space over the last month and concurrently five rides (see below as of 1/12/04). By the time he hit the beltway, RTH didn't think the website would die, but it would become much, much less than the glorious concept and historical record of the unity of the WNR it had the potential to be. The others did wait, EOFBH hopped in Maximus for a time update,
they geared up and were on their way. The standard route was followed. Conditions
where as predicted: nearing perfection on anyone's scale. All
where appropriately dressed. The patches of ice where challenging
but not problematic. They crossed paths with one or two dog walkers,
one who was unable to grasp the concept of "if your dogs are off leash,
you better have vocal command of them". This was later proven true as they
watched the same pack chasing a group of deer, going farther away from
their owner, resulting in the perfect stillness being broken by the distant
shriek of a dog-walkers stupidity. This occurred at the time refreshments
were served at the top of the Hawk Ridge downhill. The ride back included
successful efforts at honing the log jumping acumen, and the final section
lead by FB. No Mechanicals, bone head moves of the week, or the like were
observed. Coffee served at the Westbard Star*ucks, where the RTH continued
to feel the benefits of the previously mentioned refreshments. By then it
had "warmed up" to 15. #25. WNR January 7th, 2004 This WNR took us on the inaugural ride of the nouvelle Finger. The Finger has suffered mightily from an especially severe series of raucous weather patterns that has seen its creeks and gullies savaged by several relentless downpours. One section had become impassable. So the WNR trail maintenance crew, accompanied by a litter of WNR spawn, spent an afternoon rerouting the ride around a particularly gnarly and now impassable creek bed. Of course the weather being what it has been for the past 18 months, we successfully navigated the new section sans dab only to discover a giant, freshly fallen tree providing a new obstacle to be overcome. Almost all of the WNR rides have been damaged by snows and hurricanes and monsoon rains of 02-03. The executive board is considering hiring prison labor to take care of the maintenance backlog. |
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negotiate this patch he slows, tilts slightly to
his right and down he goes, with both he and bike turning at least
two flips before crashing upon the rocks at the creek. 
